Sunday 8 February 2015
Sunday 1 February 2015
Marriage!
At some point in the next few weeks I'm going to do a fuller post on the huge changes in the law all across the world since I last posted.
Same-sex marriage is legal in Scotland, England and Wales!
That's huge!
On the 6th April 2013, three days after our four year anniversary, my partner and I had a beautiful Civil Partnership Ceremony in front of our family and friends. It was a wonderful, emotional and very personal day that was the happiest of my life.
Then, on Friday 12th December 2015 we converted our Civil Partnership to a Marriage! We are now legally recognised as husband and husband in the eyes of the law and have a certificate and everything to prove it! This ceremony was just the two of us and a registrar but it was equally as beautiful and personal to us.
Here's to choice, here's to the furthering of equality and here's to marriage!
Same-sex marriage is legal in Scotland, England and Wales!
That's huge!
On the 6th April 2013, three days after our four year anniversary, my partner and I had a beautiful Civil Partnership Ceremony in front of our family and friends. It was a wonderful, emotional and very personal day that was the happiest of my life.
Then, on Friday 12th December 2015 we converted our Civil Partnership to a Marriage! We are now legally recognised as husband and husband in the eyes of the law and have a certificate and everything to prove it! This ceremony was just the two of us and a registrar but it was equally as beautiful and personal to us.
Here's to choice, here's to the furthering of equality and here's to marriage!
Film Review - The Normal Heart
About a year ago I heard about a film adaptation by HBO of the Larry Kramer play The Normal Heart. The cast list was stellar: Julia Roberts, Mark Ruffalo, Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, Taylor Kitsch. Some of my favourite actors. Then I forgot about it because it was only going to show in America so it went off my radar.
Six months ago I saw a post about it on Facebook and tracked it down on the web. Wow. If I tried I think I'd run out of superlatives about it because it is immense. Huge.
This powerful film, based upon the life of activist, playwright and screenwriter Larry Kramer who helped to found Gay Men's Health Crisis in the '80s, covers a dark period in the history of the LGBT community when HIV and AIDS was just being recognised for the epidemic that is truly is.
The film follows Ned Weeks, an openly gay writer, who, along with a group of friends and colleagues, starts an organisation to provide information and support to the community, while challenging government over their lack of response to the crisis. Along the way he encounters Dr Emma Brookner, one of the few doctors trying to find a cure for the disease, and comes up against the fear and denial of the community while watching people he knows die of this horrific illness, including his own loving partner who he nurses to the end.
I don't mind admitting that this film made me cry. Repeatedly. It made me really think about choices I've made in my life, both positive and negative, and it made me think of my own friends and some of the risky behaviour they've engaged with. It made me think of the thousands of gay men who have died through the years because of lack of information and awareness, and of the generations of young people now who don't know enough about the dangers of HIV and the importance of safe sex.
This film should be taken for what it is: an acknowledgement of where the LGBT community has come from; of the struggle we had to get help from governments who should have done more; of how far we've come now; and as a warning. As a warning of what happens when we become complacent.
Watch the trailer below, go and see the full film and encourage others to do the same. The performances are incredible, the message is powerful and it will stay with you for days to come.
Update
Ok, ok, ok...so I've been away for a while. Well over two years. Is it really that long? All I'm going to say in my defence is I never promised to be a regular blogger. Not much of an excuse but it's one I'm going to go with for the moment.
Suffice to say, life is the most unpredictable ride any of us will ever ride on and the last couple of years and that's all I'm going to say about it. It may be that in future posts, if and when they take place, that I'll cover some of that but for now service will resume!
Suffice to say, life is the most unpredictable ride any of us will ever ride on and the last couple of years and that's all I'm going to say about it. It may be that in future posts, if and when they take place, that I'll cover some of that but for now service will resume!
Sunday 2 December 2012
Film Review - Weekend
I haven't really reviewed anything on this blog before, but this was an excellent, powerful film that compelled me. Or something less dramatic sounding. I liked it and thought others would as well.
Weekend is described, aptly, as a British romantic, drama written and directed by Andrew Haigh. Looking at an intense 48 hours between two men who meet in a club, it shows what happens when a one night stand just doesn't end.
Russell and Glen, brilliantly acted by Tom Cullen and Chris New, really show the intensity of connection that these two men have and the tension and passion between them is palpable. I think most of us at some point have experienced something similar and that just makes it easier to love this film. While we met in completely different circumstances, our first weekend together was as intense as this.
The portayal of both gay men is true to life, both in terms of how they meet (in fact at one point Glen admits that Russell wasn't even his first choice that night) and even in the lives that they lead. Russell is a lifeguard at a leisure centre and Glen is a wannabe artist. The majority of Russell's friends appear to be straight and he is haunted by not having come out to his father, having grown up in care. Glen on the other hand, has been totally put off relationships but a previously cheating partner.
One of the best things about this film is just how far from the over produced, shiny Hollywood LGBT films this is. It's set in a council estate in Nottingham of all places, and while the two main actors are good looking guys, they're not plastic and fake looking. It all helped to make the whole thing feel that more realistic.
Ultimately the ending may not suit everyone. It's not at all Hollywood and doesn't wrap everything up neatly. But it does leave us with a feeling of hope and definitely wondering what would have happened later.
If you want something that's going to make you smile then give it a go!
Weekend is described, aptly, as a British romantic, drama written and directed by Andrew Haigh. Looking at an intense 48 hours between two men who meet in a club, it shows what happens when a one night stand just doesn't end.
Russell and Glen, brilliantly acted by Tom Cullen and Chris New, really show the intensity of connection that these two men have and the tension and passion between them is palpable. I think most of us at some point have experienced something similar and that just makes it easier to love this film. While we met in completely different circumstances, our first weekend together was as intense as this.
The portayal of both gay men is true to life, both in terms of how they meet (in fact at one point Glen admits that Russell wasn't even his first choice that night) and even in the lives that they lead. Russell is a lifeguard at a leisure centre and Glen is a wannabe artist. The majority of Russell's friends appear to be straight and he is haunted by not having come out to his father, having grown up in care. Glen on the other hand, has been totally put off relationships but a previously cheating partner.
One of the best things about this film is just how far from the over produced, shiny Hollywood LGBT films this is. It's set in a council estate in Nottingham of all places, and while the two main actors are good looking guys, they're not plastic and fake looking. It all helped to make the whole thing feel that more realistic.
Ultimately the ending may not suit everyone. It's not at all Hollywood and doesn't wrap everything up neatly. But it does leave us with a feeling of hope and definitely wondering what would have happened later.
If you want something that's going to make you smile then give it a go!
Saturday 1 December 2012
World AIDS Day 2012
Today is World AIDS Day.
Yes, I've started this post on a really obvious note, but it's an important one. Today is the 34th World AIDS Day and I hope that for most, the 1st December is marked in their calendar as it's an important date the world over.
When I was thinking about what to write to mark this occasion I wasn't sure what direction it was going to go. Stat heavy, fill it with horror stories, wag the proverbial finger about safe sex and testing. Or all three.
I'm going to try and not do any of those things, though I'm not going to guarantee it.
Safe sex is important and people should be keeping themselves as safe as possible. Getting tested in general is something anyone who is sexually active should be doing every six months and getting and HIV test should be an essential part of that.
See, I've already become preachy.
It is though that 100,000 people in Britain are living with HIV and 25% of these do not know that they have it. That is 25,000 people who are living their lives unaware that they have HIV and that they could potentially pass this on to future partners. If that scares you, it should. If you haven't been for a sexual health screening for a while then please go. It's much better to be living with the certainty of a clean bill of health than worrying and wondering that you could be one of the 25%.
And for anyone who did find that they had HIV there is support and information out there from many wonderful organisations. Charities like the Terrence Higgins Trust (amazing people), Body & Soul and the National AIDS Trust.
It's important to recognise that in the last 30+ years treatment for HIV and AIDS has come a long way. While there still is no cure, HIV is a manageable condition, and with some lifestyle changes and the right drug regimen, the majority of HIV+ people are living as long (and in some cases longer) as those who are -ve.
But more education is still needed to reduce stigma and dispel the myth that this is a "gay" disease.
In fact, even LGBT young people need some education. I know many who think that there is now a cure for HIV or that it has been eradicated (yes, there are some people who believe this). Or there are those who think they're bullet proof and it'll never happen to them. I know people my own age (29) who think that the AIDS crisis of the 80's is a thing of the distant past and not something that we need to worry about.
That is dangerous thinking.
A generation of gay men where devastated by HIV and AIDS. People died before the disease was understood and many more died before a treatment could be devised. Stigma sprung up towards people who were +ve (this still exists in many places) and we cannot let things go backwards. It's important that we are vigilant.
For anyone who wants to know more about the impact this had on the LGBT community in the 80's have a read of "Borrowed Time" by Paul Monette. Or to know what it's like to live with HIV now check out the amazing blog by UKPositiveLad.
But before I finish, I'm sure there are many people who may read this and wonder why I seem like such a know it all. It's not my intention I assure you.
On the 18th November 1986 my Uncle Michael died of an AIDS related illness. I don't remember him, I was barely 3 when he died, but I've heard a lot of stories. Apparently we had some very vocal arguments when I was learning to talk.
Uncle Michael was a gay man but was never out to the family apart from my mum. I'm sure a lot of them knew, but from what I've been told it wasn't widely discussed. He was the second youngest of 11 children from a Catholic family and lived a complicated and troubled life. I don't know everything, his death is still something that has an impact on my aunts and uncles, but my mum has always been open about it. The end wasn't good for him and it's nothing something I'm going to repeat here, at least not in this post.
My uncle was 28 when he died; I've now lived a year longer than he was. We were and are both gay men, but had very different experiences.
I grew up with very supportive parents who accepted me when I came out. My uncle didn't have that and as a consequence was only out to my mum, the rest of his siblings were in disbelief that he was gay. I know that my mum always worried about me because of Michael and as a result educated me and my siblings on safe sex and the consequences.
My point: my uncle died of an AIDS related illness 26 years ago. But even now his death has an impact on the loved ones he left behind, including me, a nephew who sadly doesn't remember him. This is not isolated to our family.
Educate yourself and those around you. We can never be complacent when it comes to HIV and we can never allow things to go back to how they were in the 80's.
Yes, I've started this post on a really obvious note, but it's an important one. Today is the 34th World AIDS Day and I hope that for most, the 1st December is marked in their calendar as it's an important date the world over.
When I was thinking about what to write to mark this occasion I wasn't sure what direction it was going to go. Stat heavy, fill it with horror stories, wag the proverbial finger about safe sex and testing. Or all three.
I'm going to try and not do any of those things, though I'm not going to guarantee it.
Safe sex is important and people should be keeping themselves as safe as possible. Getting tested in general is something anyone who is sexually active should be doing every six months and getting and HIV test should be an essential part of that.
See, I've already become preachy.
It is though that 100,000 people in Britain are living with HIV and 25% of these do not know that they have it. That is 25,000 people who are living their lives unaware that they have HIV and that they could potentially pass this on to future partners. If that scares you, it should. If you haven't been for a sexual health screening for a while then please go. It's much better to be living with the certainty of a clean bill of health than worrying and wondering that you could be one of the 25%.
And for anyone who did find that they had HIV there is support and information out there from many wonderful organisations. Charities like the Terrence Higgins Trust (amazing people), Body & Soul and the National AIDS Trust.
It's important to recognise that in the last 30+ years treatment for HIV and AIDS has come a long way. While there still is no cure, HIV is a manageable condition, and with some lifestyle changes and the right drug regimen, the majority of HIV+ people are living as long (and in some cases longer) as those who are -ve.
But more education is still needed to reduce stigma and dispel the myth that this is a "gay" disease.
In fact, even LGBT young people need some education. I know many who think that there is now a cure for HIV or that it has been eradicated (yes, there are some people who believe this). Or there are those who think they're bullet proof and it'll never happen to them. I know people my own age (29) who think that the AIDS crisis of the 80's is a thing of the distant past and not something that we need to worry about.
That is dangerous thinking.
A generation of gay men where devastated by HIV and AIDS. People died before the disease was understood and many more died before a treatment could be devised. Stigma sprung up towards people who were +ve (this still exists in many places) and we cannot let things go backwards. It's important that we are vigilant.
For anyone who wants to know more about the impact this had on the LGBT community in the 80's have a read of "Borrowed Time" by Paul Monette. Or to know what it's like to live with HIV now check out the amazing blog by UKPositiveLad.
But before I finish, I'm sure there are many people who may read this and wonder why I seem like such a know it all. It's not my intention I assure you.
On the 18th November 1986 my Uncle Michael died of an AIDS related illness. I don't remember him, I was barely 3 when he died, but I've heard a lot of stories. Apparently we had some very vocal arguments when I was learning to talk.
Uncle Michael was a gay man but was never out to the family apart from my mum. I'm sure a lot of them knew, but from what I've been told it wasn't widely discussed. He was the second youngest of 11 children from a Catholic family and lived a complicated and troubled life. I don't know everything, his death is still something that has an impact on my aunts and uncles, but my mum has always been open about it. The end wasn't good for him and it's nothing something I'm going to repeat here, at least not in this post.
My uncle was 28 when he died; I've now lived a year longer than he was. We were and are both gay men, but had very different experiences.
I grew up with very supportive parents who accepted me when I came out. My uncle didn't have that and as a consequence was only out to my mum, the rest of his siblings were in disbelief that he was gay. I know that my mum always worried about me because of Michael and as a result educated me and my siblings on safe sex and the consequences.
My point: my uncle died of an AIDS related illness 26 years ago. But even now his death has an impact on the loved ones he left behind, including me, a nephew who sadly doesn't remember him. This is not isolated to our family.
Educate yourself and those around you. We can never be complacent when it comes to HIV and we can never allow things to go back to how they were in the 80's.
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