It used to be that "Coming Out" was about the LGBT community, but I've noticed that that's changed in recent years. I know people who have Come Out as Conservatives, sci-fi geeks and one very confused person who Came Out as a Spice Girls fan.
But the best stories are still the classics: LGBT people coming to terms with their sexuality in their own ways. And Coming Out isn't necessarily about being open with your family, it can be to colleagues, friends or even strangers.
Some really brave people even film it, something I think is truly courageous. Like this guy:
Others publish their stories on sites like the amazing rucomingout. I've often thought about maybe sending Wayne my own story but I don't reckon I've got the guts yet.
It's different for everyone.
Just mustering the courage to tell someone, anyone, can take weeks, months or years. Thankfully there are lots of websites and guides that you can find online that can give advice and information. Guides like the Stonewall Coming Out Guide. And people do it for many reasons. For me, at least, the quote below sums it up.
Emotions run high, tears are common and the reaction from friends and family not always positive. Far from it in many cases. Some people are suprised by the reaction they get, and others try and preempt it. I heard a story about someone who wasn't able to say the words so she wrote her parents a letter and left it by the phone. They read it but didn't discuss it with her which left her more confused. She was Out but not really open. Last I heard that hadn't changed.
Personally, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief, a "dropping of the facade". It felt like I was given a mandate to be myself, although it was years before I found out who that was.
I've mentioned before that I volunteer with an LGBT Youth Group, and one of the things we've been doing lately (and what prompted this post) is working on our own Coming Out stories. Not all of our young people are out to their families but most of them are out to at least some of their friends. One or two who have come along to the group have only come out to us. But they've all made the very brave step to be honest with themselves and with others.
One of them sent me their story to put up on our site. I’m not going to share it here because it’s not my story and it wouldn’t be fair. But the strength of our young people is amazing. Through working on their own stories, one has come out to his parents and another has started coming out to friends. We’d like to eventually self publish their stories (identifiable details changed of course).
At Pride this year the group had a stall. They had information about local groups (including ourselves), LGBT services and coming out. During the day an older man came up to the stand shook the hand of one of our young people, thanked them and started crying. It was his first Pride and he was overwhelmed by seeing the number of young people open and Out. He was 78 and only plucked up the courage to come out to his family the year before.
He thanked them for being brave enough to do what he couldn't.
You're never too old to be true to yourself, we all do it in our own time and when it's right for us, some people just take a little longer.
No comments:
Post a Comment