Driving, oh driving, why do you torture me so?

Back in March I started taking driving lessons again.  Six months later and I've made huge strides, but it torments me.

I'm 28 and originally took lessons (under duress) when I was 18.  I hated it.  It made me nervous, my instructor was an arsehole (pardon my language) and it just wasn't for me.  So at the earliest opportunity, away went the lessons.  Financial difficulties you see.

And for nearly ten years I was able to put my (lack of) ability to drive in a box and ignore it.  Everywhere I had lived and worked had great public transport links so it wasn't all that important. 

And then something changed.

Last August I started a job that made driving compulsory.  Despite my lack of a licence I was hired, but on the condition that I passed my test as quickly as possible.  Being the master of procrastination, I managed to sneak under the radar for a couple of months.  Not my proudest moment, but the thought of getting behind the wheel of a car again made me break out in cold sweats.

So I started with a highly recommended instructor, and to be fair, he is amazing.  It's like learning to drive with Yoda.  He always knows what I'm thinking and has brought my writing on leaps and bounds.  I even booked my driving test!  It seems like something trivial, but that was a huge step for me, and really told me how far I'd come, mentally if nothing else.

Then I hit a block.

Bad, bad lessons.  Endlessly bad lessons.  So many bad lessons that my confidence was shot to hell.  Ok, upon reflection it was probably only three or four, but it was enough to knock back all that progress.  And during the week I took the decision to move my test back.  If I don't feel confident about passing at this point then going and sitting a test would be a stupid move.

Today I had another lesson, and I don't mind admitting that I was worried...ok I was shitting a brick (again, sorry for the language).

But it was good, for once.

We went back to basics for the first part of the lesson and what a difference.  Mentally, I felt more sorted, and technically it was a huge improvement.  The first of many good lessons I'm hoping.

So what is my point with this post?

Well, firstly I just want to rant about driving and how it's been the bane of my life for nearly ten years now.

But more importantly, this has been something hanging over my head like a noose.  It has weighed me down and worried me for a long time with.  After getting a good boot up the arse by a good friend (I'm not apologising for the language anymore) and having a good instructor and my partner to rant to, I'm able to overcome it.

If I can get to booking my driving test then anyone can.